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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24406432">Human Nature.</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mothman_plays_the_drums/pseuds/Mothman_plays_the_drums'>Mothman_plays_the_drums</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>ATEEZ (Band)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Hongjoong and Seonghwa are both oblivious, Lovesickness, M/M, an actual sickness?, and it literally almost kills Hongjoong, but like, just a little bit of angst but mostly fluff, say it with me its a sickfic</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-05-27</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-05-27</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 04:54:49</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,724</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24406432</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mothman_plays_the_drums/pseuds/Mothman_plays_the_drums</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Hongjoong has a genetic disease that makes it nearly impossible to be around Park Seonghwa, for the sole reason that he's in love and too stubborn to talk about it like a normal person.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Kim Hongjoong/Park Seonghwa</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>86</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>Seongjoong Week 2020</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Human Nature.</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><ul class="associations">
      <li>For <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/grangeravenclaw/gifts">grangeravenclaw</a>.</li>



    </ul></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Hongjoong has a fever again. It's higher than it's ever been; Hongjoong knows this and he hasn't even taken his temperature. He knows the cause, too. The cause sits just across the couch, engulfed in the show they'd decided to binge together. Stupid, Hongjoong thinks now, knowing things will only get worse the longer Seonghwa is here. He's almost surprised he hasn't died yet. </p><p>Seonghwa has taken notice, based on the worried looks he shoots Joong every now and then. He's not sure how much longer he can handle it, watching Hwa be worried about him. He's not sure he can do it now, perpetually growing warmer. He must be sweating, though, because Seonghwa finally turns to the sick boy. He gently holds his hand out in a silent request to feel Hongjoong's forehead as he mumbles, "you look sick, Joong. What happened?" </p><p>Hongjoong, because he's too weak to really decline, leans forward to let Seonghwa feel at his forehead. The second Hwa feels the warmth radiating off of him, he gasps and scootches ever closer to Joong to give him the affection he alone knows the younger appreciates when he's sick. However, Joong only feels hotter, and his head stings with a searing pain that causes him to wince, head falling back against the side of the couch and hands clenching harder around his sides. </p><p>"Hongjoong.. god, c'mere," Seonghwa sounds pained to see him like this, cradling his face within his hands and pulling his sweating companion in to place a kiss on his forehead. "I'm gonna go get the thermometer, ok? We're gonna take your temperature, see if you need to go to the hospital, ok?" </p><p>At that, with panic setting in and Seonghwa standing up, Hongjoong's hand shoots out to grab Hwa's. Silently, he's begging, asking him to stay. </p><p>This all could've easily been avoided if Hongjoong weren't so fucking stubborn.</p><p>It was a genetic disease, one not very well understood by modern science, but a fairly lethal one no less. They call it "the love-sick disorder" and Hongjoong, unfortunately, has got it bad. It's slow acting, the symptoms having set in months after he'd fallen head over heels for Seonghwa, despite his honest attempts not to. It was awful, when Seonghwa was around, what with the fevers, and the constant nausea, and the dizzy, heart-pounding feeling that threatens to bring him to the floor with every step, but being away from Hwa was much worse. A more mental anguish plagued him then, seeing Seonghwa in every place he wasn't, constant paranoia, the list goes on. It's enough to go mad. </p><p>Hongjoong could end all of it, quickly and painlessly, but he has too much to lose by just admitting to Seonghwa how much he desperately, undyingly, loves him. Nature, however, doesn't give a fuck about Hongjoong's stubbornness. In fact, it actively works against him, as he gets hotter and hotter, barreling through the heat and the pain that sends tears down his face. He could fix it with three simple words, words Seonghwa doesn't even have to say back, because he doesn't have the same disease as Hongjoong. He can most likely just walk away, completely unharmed. </p><p>And that is what would hurt him more than the physical or mental effects of love-sick disorder. That is why he can't bring himself to fix everything.</p><p>That's why he whimpers, "stay," instead, gently tugging Seonghwa's hand. Seonghwa does, sitting back down on the couch with the softest look, and pulling Hongjoong into a hug that Hongjoong takes without question. </p><p>Seonghwa's body is cool enough for Hongjoong to feel just a little bit of ease, cooling the cheek that rests against his best friend's chest. "Joongie," he coos, "you didn't have to go through all of this. You know that, right?" And Seonghwa tips Hongjoong's chin up to look at him, and all of the hot and the searing come charging back to the surface. It makes Hongjoong gag. Seonghwa holds him through it. </p><p>"I c-can't, Hwa-" </p><p>"What if I say it first?" The Seonghwa in front of him is strong, holding Joong up and keeping him steady. </p><p>"Say.. say it first… Hwa, wh.." Hongjoong closes his eyes, way too far gone at this point to understand what Seonghwa is implying, until he hears the boy speak.</p><p>"I love you, Hongjoong. It's ok, you know that, right?" </p><p>Deep down, somewhere, Hongjoong knew. He knew, somehow, that Seonghwa treated him differently, but he didn't want to fool himself, not like that. </p><p>Quietly, as if finally easing a weight of his shoulders, Hongjoong whispers, "I love you too," before passing completely into unconsciousness. Maybe Seonghwa would be worried, if he didn't understand Hongjoong's disorder. If he didn't recognize the symptoms from the first time Hongjoong whined to him about a headache and a fever, maybe this would be cause for concern, but he knows better. Instead of reacting, he simply kisses his forehead one more time, and lays him back down on the couch. When he lays his palm over Hongjoong's head again, the temperature has gone down, but not enough to be normal again.</p><p>So, Seonghwa quietly explains, "I'm gonna get you a cold washcloth, Joongie," and goes off into the kitchen, to finally take care of the issue Hongjoong had been avoiding from the start. He makes sure the water he wets the cloth with is nice and cold, and when he returns to Hongjoong and places it right over the warmest part of his face, Joong reaches out. He's holding on to that last semblance of consciousness that's fading quickly from the sickly tiredness he feels, and Seonghwa indulges him in a little bit of grace, holding his hand with the silent promise that I'll be here when you wake up. He sits there, for hours, just holding his hand and watching the tv show they'd abandoned when Hongjoong's sick episode came along. </p><p>When Hongjoong finally wakes up, he's confused by the feeling in his hand, and the sudden lack of fever. He panics, momentarily, figuring Seonghwa left him with someone else, Mingi, maybe. But then, he cracks his eyes open just a little, and catches sight of Seonghwa, watching tv from the floor, and still holding his hand. Through teary eyes, Hongjoong stares at the side of his face, the natural beauty he's grown so used to seeing.  He squeezes gently at Hwa's hand, and Seonghwa's head rolls back to meet Joong's eyes. </p><p>"Hi," Hwa whispers in a tone nearly impossible to hear. </p><p>"Hi," he whispers back, giving the hand another squeeze. </p><p>Seonghwa brings the hand interlaced with his to his lips and places a little kiss on it.</p><p> </p><p>"Can we talk about it?" Hongjoong asks, later, when he's finally back to normal enough to coherently talk about the issue in the room.</p><p>"Yeah, of course Joong." Seonghwa, sweet, soft Seonghwa sits down next to him, and he reaches out, but stops himself just short of Hongjoong's hand. It's oddly endearing, he thought, how often Seonghwa reaches for his hands now. It's a contact point that obviously brought so much comfort to him. Because of that, Hongjoong slips his hand into Seonghwa's.</p><p>"What did you mean, before I passed out?" </p><p>"I said a lot of stuff, Hongjoong. You'll need to specify." </p><p>Hongjoong huffs. Leave it to Seonghwa to pull this right now. Maybe he's oblivious, he doesn't really know what Hongjoong meant. "About... like when you said you'd say it first.. like... like, when you said you loved me? Did you know- about me?" </p><p>"Of course I did," he explains, nonchalant, like it's no big deal that Seonghwa said he loves him and that he saved Joong's life. "Hongjoong, you don't just suddenly get frequent headaches and fevers. It only took a little bit of research to understand what happened." </p><p>"And you just let me live with it?" Hongjoong yanks away his hand, and the world was uncomfortably warm again, but he didn't give in. "You knew I was in love with you, and you let me LIVE with it?"</p><p>"Hongjoong-" </p><p>He stands up, starting to pace back and forth in the small living room. "No, no, what the fuck! What the fuck even was that? What- did you even mean it? Was that admission just a fucking pity 'I love you?' I don't need your-" </p><p>"Hongjoong, listen to yourself!" Seonghwa stands to follow him, only causing Joong to walk off into the kitchen.</p><p>"I'd rather listen to you! I wanna know why you didn't tell me you knew! Why would  you let me keep hurting like that? And why would you-" </p><p>"Why do you think I took care of you when you got sick?" </p><p>Hongjoong pauses. He hates it, how quickly he's tearing up. Every single time he complained to Seonghwa, and every time Seonghwa pet his hair back, and held him close, and let him rant in between his classes. </p><p>"Why did I suddenly become so interested in who was flirting with you, who you watched for longer than others when you stared off, asked about your love life. Huh?" </p><p>"Seonghwa, no..." </p><p>"I thought it was someone else, Hongjoong. It was all I could do, and I felt like I was idly sitting by watching the man I love slowly gain the confidence to fall in love with someone else. Hongjoong, I was trying to let go."</p><p>"Seonghwa... please." </p><p>Seonghwa watches him, wanting so bad, itching to reach out and pull him into a hug, to kiss him, to do something. </p><p>"Please, don't play with me like this." He's so close to crying, Seonghwa can see it. If only he had permission, he'd hold Hongjoong and never let him go. </p><p>"I wouldn't dream of it," Hwa whispers, and he holds his hand out in a silent offer. If you'll have me.</p><p>And Hongjoong slowly, steadily makes his way over to Seonghwa, until the tension breaks when Hongjoing falls into his arms. Seonghwa doesn't hesitate, holding him close, tighter than Hongjoong thinks he's ever been held. </p><p>"I love you," Seonghwa whispers into his companion's ear. They rock, back and forth, and Seonghwa lets Hongjoong cry into his shoulder. </p><p>It all could've been so easy.</p><p>"I love you too," Hongjoong whimpers, finally, when he's come down his frustration fueled cry. </p><p>And Seonghwa holds him tighter, if ever that was even possible.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>hit me up on twitter! @thestarsnmars !!</p></blockquote></div></div>
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